The Pearl of Great Price

by Madelaine L'engle

"The moment of inspiration does not come to one who lolls around expecting the gift to be free. It is no giveaway. It is the pearl for which we have to pay a great price, the price of intense loneliness, the price of that vulnerability which often allows us to be hurt; the less readily understandable price of hurting those we love...And I am not sure it's a choice. If we're given a gift - and the size of the gift, great or small, is irrelevant - then most of us must serve it, like it or not. I say most of us because I have seen people of great talent who have done nothing with it and who mutter about getting down to work 'when there's time'."

And so I felt God asked, 'why are you afraid of the price? Why are you afraid of loneliness? Don't you know your faith in me is enough to sustain you!?!'. I think this journey is less about finding a school to do my PhD at, and more about becoming prepared to do my PhD. Up until now I have leaned forward with my upper body towards this time of study and learning, while digging my heels in - in a resistence of the solitary nature of a PhD study, in resistence of the 'traditional' nature of this education. The words of others - those we encounter and those I read - are encouraging me to enter in and press on!